The hospital is no place to get some rest...

They say that, when you really need rest, the worst place to be is in the hospital.  Of course, the first reason is the constant disruptions that only seem to occur just after you have fallen asleep.  Blood pressure, temperature, blood draw, medication... the list goes on and on.  Believe me, I know that there is a reason for them -- I just wish that they weren't absolutely constant!

The second reason is that you are truly out of your typical surroundings.  Not only is the bed different and you are "tied down" with countless amounts of tubing and monitor cables, but you are trapped in a small room with new rules...  What you can and can't do, when to get up and (try) to go to sleep, when you can and can't use the restroom, and having to ask permission or request assistance for every little thing...  The list goes on and on.  As someone who places a high value on my independence, this is especially difficult for me.

The final impediment to sleep, in my opinion, is the noise level. However, it's not necessarily what you think.  Sometimes, the loud noise is unbearable.  People rushing around calling out to each other, procedures being done, other patients in pain or who aren't coherent, and the constant whirring of an infusion pump or other medical equipment.   But at other times, I have found that the exact opposite is true.  The eerie quiet can get to you in the middle of the night just as much as the loud noises.  And that was the case that evening in the ICU...

I know that the ward was busy that evening, but you couldn't have told that from being inside of my room.  As much as I desperately tried to avoid it, I was again alone with my thoughts, and that was not a great place to be that evening.  Thankfully, my nurse soon made her way back into the room.  She was very perceptive, and could see that I was lost in my world of "what-if"...  

She quickly took control of the situation, asking about the transplant, about how I had gotten to this point, and again asking for more details about my disease.  Under most situations, I would have been tremendously annoyed by someone marching into my room at around 2AM and insisting on drawing me into a conversation...  But on that particular night, we sat for what felt like over an hour, and although the conversation involved my health, my family, and my future, the thoughts were kept far more positive than the ones that were running through my mind earlier.  And soon, I began to feel much calmer, and better.. Not necessarily due to any medical procedure, but rather due to a caring individual who, instead of taking a long break when things quieted down, decided to truly watch out for the interest of her patients.  She wasn't just a good technician, nor a good nurse...  She was, without question, a good person.  And I hope that she is aware that others feel that way about her.