Most people who have ever gone through an incident like I was experience (extremely high levels of Potassium in the blood) are going to shudder when I mention this next word...
Kayexalate.
Now, I thought that living on my own as a bachelor at school exposed me to just about any type of horrible, demonic, vile substance known to man. How many times did I hear "Dude -- just eat it. It's not THAT old...", as I tried to search through my sofa cushions to find enough change to get something else for dinner -- Even if it was Ramen Noodles. ANYTHING to avoid the month old "mystery plate" in a college student's fridge. But unfortunately, too many times necessity became the mother of substances that used to be referred to as food, and I caved in. Not sure how I survived, but I did!
Now, with this kind of background, you would think that no kind of medication can possibly scare me. Kayexalate (along with one other, which I will discuss later), are the true exceptions to the rule. To those who have taken Lactulose, the syrupy substance that I discussed earlier, Kayexalate is just like Lactulose -- on steroids!
Yep -- Same side effects (it binds with the Potassium in your intestinal tract and helps escort it out!), with a far, far, worse taste. If this wasn't originally discovered as being used by some third world culture as a torture device, I would be really, really surprised.
And, just as I'm getting ready for the trip to the ICU, in they come with this evil brew. I somehow choke it down, and almost immediately I begin to feel the churning and rumbling in my stomach. Within 5 minutes, I begin to realize just how quickly and viciously this substance works. And that, of course, is when the nurse finally comes back in to get me so that I can be transferred.
And the only benefit to this caring and wonderful parting gift from the ER? At least it took my mind off of what was going on with my heart and kidneys... Even if only temporarily!
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